Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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