im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
