Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
