in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
