Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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