It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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