Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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