and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Sober January is a disaster.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
