we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
