You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
