When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
