walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
it was like his penis was on wheels.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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