Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
