Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
