cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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