So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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