you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
