Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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