I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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