i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
