im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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