Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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