eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize