Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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