I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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