Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize