I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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