i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
love makes seman taste better
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Shame is for Republicans.
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