yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
