So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize