Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
