I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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