one two three fourrrrnication!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
