Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
