Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
