I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize