I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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