i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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