why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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