that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
