FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
