we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
