To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
