ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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