You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
only you would photoshop your dick
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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