They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
