So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
