In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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