I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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