are you still at the devil's house?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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