The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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