Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Randomize
