what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
