I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
