Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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