apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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