so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
