I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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