I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
