I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
3pm strippers are depressing
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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