No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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