Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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