Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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