I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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